Life in the Fish Bowl


I'm Too Old For Shit Like This

So last night I met some  skank whores friends for dinner and a couple of movies afterwards. Yes, my friends, I went to see the premier of the new Twilight movie. I read the books - they were good.  I saw the first movie.  While not award winning cinema, I am no movie snob and thought it was a good movie.  Why would you brave the opening night, midnight movie  hysteria if you aren't a retard twitard? To hang out with my good friends.

Now to  ,the crux of the matter here.  We met for dinner and drinks at 6:30.  I met L a little before six because we both had to pick up our tickets. The rest those bitches my friends came shortly there after and we enjoyed a nice dinner.  Then we headed to the theater, where we had been told to arrive an hour early due to the crowds.

Crowds? The were none - at least when we got there. A few of those losers I was hanging out with my friends made a liquor store run - yes, YB but a loose six pack of bottled beer in my diaper bag!!!! - and then the movie started.

We saw the first Twilight movie at 9pm.  It was over at 11pm so we had an hour to kill until the next one started.  Everyone talked shit conversed until 12 and the time went by fairly quickly.  If you forget the fact that it was 100 degrees in the theater everything was great. 

Finally the movie starts and by this time I am so fucking sleepy.  I tell L to wake me up if I fall asleep and start watching the movie.  All I can say is, well, it is a movie.  A bit into the movie I am even more sleepy and my contacts are bothering me so I decide to close my eyes and just listen for a minute.

Next thing I know I am waking up.  K is giggling that I was asleep and I started snoring and Kimtastic took a picutre and hahahahahahah.  Can you say Let's Cut A Bitch?

I asked L why she didn't wake me up and she said, well, I looked so peaceful and I was quiet.  I pointed out that the time to wake me up was BEFORE I started snoring, not after.  It seems I was sleeping quietly even thought K was poking me and at some point snorted/snored/fucking something and then went back to being quiet.  Of course this was during a quiet part in the movie and the whole theater heard it.

I can only say that I wasn't too embarrassed because I was sleeping and not awake to do any thing, like, say ---cut some bitches, but that those skank ho's will get theirs!!!!

All in all, though, it was a good night with formerly supposed
good friends, though my ass is most definitely too old for that late of a night.  Next time I'm out after dinner or at least by the end of the first movie.

Of course this morning I had forgotten to turn the sound back on on my alarm so I didn't get TB up for school until 6:30 so we had to rush, rush, rush.  My boobs were EXPLODING by this time so TG got six tons of milk, which she promptly spit up all over me.  YEA MORNING!!!!

I have a full day today and tomorrow, so by tomorrow evening I'll be feeling every one of my 41 years.

Lessons Learned:
  • -watch your own back.  Skanks will not do it for you.
  • -a itty bitty baby belly can only hold so much milk
  • -turn your fucking alarm back on, dumb ass
  • -some people do not know the difference between a icy and a slush
  • -that Taylor Lautner kid is HAWT!

I'll leave you with a few pics from the night.  Go to Kimtastic's place for the one of me snoozing.

  And can you believe I left these next two at home to  hang out with those crazy women?? Bad choices, Blue Momma, bad choices.



Anonymous said...

OH this post made me giggle, snicker, and snort! That was the most hysterical thing I have experienced in a long time - I was laughing so hard, I was crying! God love you BM!!! You did look REALLY peaceful...

nikki said...

HAhahahahahaha (snort). Seriously, you fell asleep?!?!?! Man, I love ya.

*Yankee Belle* said...

You didnt mention your cheap vodka & slushy.... My beer was well insulated in the diaper bag. We need to remember this for future events. Your diaper bag that is, not mine.

Kim said...

i can't say this enough, but i am still laughing. that was great.

Big Pissy said...

This post made me laugh and laugh.

Thanks!!! :)