Life in the Fish Bowl


Blah, Blah, Blah

Do you ever just feel blah? Nothing is really wrong, you just feel blah.

I feel blah.

School is ok. My classes are ok. There is work to be done, of course, but it isn't terribly hard.

Hubby has been on good behavior, as has Punkin. Well, good as you get from a four year old!!

The pregnancy is going spectacularly well, even better than the first one. Couldn't ask for better.


Blah. Blah. Blah.

I miss my happy pills. They helped take away the blahs. I feel inappropriately happy, then inappropriately sad. Neither to extreme, but neither really appropriate. Or maybe it is appropriate. Who knows. Maybe the happy pills just made everything artificially wonderful and this is just reality.

Or it could be that after watching Jurassic Park 1, 2, & 3 approximately 4,497,464 times over the past two weeks that I'm just suppressing the feeling that I will soon be eaten by a velociraptor.


Why am I sitting here, again, watching country music videos and tearing up?

Maybe I should dig out those old Motley Crue and Ozzy vhs tapes from the old days and man up a bit. I may even have a four sizes too small concert tee stuck in a box somewhere....


I'm sick today and, rather than spread my misery to all of my classmates, I decided to take a day off from classes. I really don't need to miss, but I don't think I'd get any brownie points by coughing a lung up at one of my teachers. I've washed some clothes, cleaned the house some and put in a little computer time, of course. While I did all of this the tv was on and somehow ended up on GAC, the country music channel.

I caught myself listening to that song where the guy thought he was strong before he met his wife, blah, blah, blah and ended up crying. Yeah, crying. I'll blame some of it on hormones and some of it on it being the 800th sappy song I had heard and some of it on just life in general.

I know I bitch and moan a lot - about the hubby, about finances, about any old thing - but really? Life as a whole is pretty good.

Yes, I could be - in no particular order: richer, thinner, smarter, more organized, younger, more patient, etc, etc - but I must admit, I'm pretty happy with me. I think I have the best kid ever - like me, not perfect - but pretty damn close to it. Hubby is patient, hard working, generous with me to a fault. Honestly, I wouldn't put up with me. So is he, are any of us, perfect? No. But I must admit I'm glad to be where I am and with who I'm with.

I've been lucky enough to make some good friends since moving back to Alabama. They keep me busy, keep me sane when I'm feeling crazy, bring me back down to earth when I'm thinking my shit just doesn't stink. I'm glad to have found them and to get to share my life with them and to take part in theirs, too. I'm not perfect, they aren't perfect, but who the hell wants perfect?

I'm finally pregnant and it looks like things are going to be successful this time. We've wanted this so long that it's hard to believe it is happening. I'm so happy, hubby is so happy, Punkin is beyond happy. As Punkin puts it, now we'll be a real family. I think he thinks he needs a sibling for it to be real, though it feels pretty damn good the way it is. When little Orange Juice gets here? She'll just be the cherry on top!

Ok, enough mush. Now I need to watch Bones, snuggle with Punkin, and finish cleaning this messy house. Hope you all are feeling as good as I am - cold from hell or not!