Life in the Fish Bowl

welcome

Nature or Nurture?


What is it about becoming a husband that turns a man into the biggest prick on earth??? Or is it that I bragged that he had been good lately and bought him a nice father's day present? Because it is sure something.

Could it be that I am sticking with my sex every other day promise (oh, didn't I tell yall about that?) so he is being the king of the assholes on the off days??? I though more sex was supposed to make him less of a pain in my ass, not more of one?You know I don't care is he doesn't know what the hell he's doing when he's installing his brand spanking new satellite radio which I bought him for father's day. Don't take that shit out one me, fucktard!!!! Like I ever thought he knew what he was doing and was going to be disillusioned or something. Huh.

And don't fucking think that just because you get your shit straight that now every thing is fine and dandy. You take your fucktard ass and sleep in Punkins bed tonight. I'm taking the king.

Asshole.

Sorry, folks. I guess I needed to vent a bit. Oh, and the bathroom that hubby so kindly stripped the shitty wallpaper out of while I was visiting AFF? Half fucking done. I don't know why the hell I am surprised.........

On a more pleasant note, congrats to my IRL friend, Heartheireverywear, on baby #2, who will be here in February. First month, people!! First month. I'm hoping she'll pass her secrets along to me.
Oh, and tomorrow I'll post news of Carl, who has come to visit me. I'm thinking of trading hubby in for him.

21 comments:

the planet of janet said...

dang, girlie! no wonder you're taking it out on me in bubblewords!!!!!

justmylife said...

Men do get shitty when they can't figure something out!

Sex every other day? If it just makes a man gripey on the off days, hubby can keep dreaming! heh!

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I'm with Janet. And, you can sure use Carl to give him the beat down.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

I think men are naturally pecker heads. But I'll let you know for sure in about 20 years since I'm raising two future men. (God help me)

Feener said...

i love this motherfucking post.

Tranny Head said...

Two thoughts:

1. Fucktard is a great word.

2. Carl is dead sexy and I want to rub him all over with olive oil and just slap him around.

Marmarbug said...

I love the word fucktard. I have called my husband that once before and it caught him off guard.
And I agree, tell Carl that he is the new man in your life nad use him to beat down pecker head. (I have used that before too). Oh and if he is being a ding dong head? NO SEX!!!!!!!!! That should be the ultimate punishment.
Oh and I wanted Carol to visit me!!!

Bren said...

He, I say you change it to every other week until he can behave himself.

You cracked me up with "Pecker head." That new camera is going to make you dangerous to fuck with.

Poodlehead said...

I think you should've written Fuck Tard across that pic. Surprised you didn't. disappointed a little. ha!

nikki said...

It's the asshole gene. Every man has one. Especially when they can't figure out equipment or read directions.

Rachel said...

That's why I try not to brag about Chris, cuz then he does something assholey!

Hear Their Everywear said...

I told you, we have that extra room and he can came live with my Hubby. I guarantee when these hormones kick in full swing, Hubby will need a friend! LOL

Hear Their Everywear said...

I told you, we have that extra room and he can came live with my Hubby. I guarantee when these hormones kick in full swing, Hubby will need a friend! LOL

LovenLife said...

FUNKTARD will be my new word for my hubby...I just assumed they all act that way..Sex everyothe night, you go girl...

Kellie said...

I am DYING with the words "pecker head" over that picture! DYING!!

I bragged about Jimmy being Mr. Wonderful once. Never again, sister. NEVER again. That fucktard ran with that crap. He can lump it.

:)

Kaytabug said...

I have ranted like this about my dick weed, just not on my blog ... just because he reeds it shouldn't stop me from ranting about what irritates the shit out of me. Thanks for the realization!

PS: I enjoy the words Fucktard and Pecker Head. May I suggest Ass Clown for some added variety? Keep em on their toes, bonus: it makes you smile!

Oh! About the sex every other night. Stop all together, use the vibrator in front of him just to rub it in his face. I know this doesn't help at all with getting pregnant but maybe the look on his face and his reaction just might be satisfying enough to do it for a while if not at least once.

That Chick Over There said...

You want I should cut him?

The Laundress said...

I friggin' love that pecker head picture.

devilish southern belle said...

I don't even make posts about my own husband now. I refuse to. I have gotten to the point where I pretend he doesn't exist, much as he had done me for the longest time. BUT...I can definitely relate!

-dsb-

Alison said...

sometimes they can just be that way....sex every other day huh?? you would think he would be a happy man...maybe he is just tired and drained from all the sex...men are weird, ya know!!!

Hope you had a better day!!

NoFive-Oh said...

That is just... wrong... on so many levels. ;)