Life in the Fish Bowl

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The Mysterious Case of the Ceramic Cat


We have a ceramic cat toilet brush holder in our bathroom. Yes, it is a souvenir leftover from my crazy cat lady days. So it has been packed away for a while as I am in the process of dewallpapering (all of you bitches quit snickering!! Yes! You know who you are!) my bathroom and most everything has been packed away.

I cleaned out the room where everything was packed away (and I used the term "packed" very loosely) and decided to put the kitty back in the bathroom. I sat him in the corner by the toilet, looking out into the bathroom.

Later I go back in and it is turned around, with the brush holder side facing out. I just turned it back around, figuring someone had bumped into it grabbing the toilet paper or something. Who knows? I just didn't think about it.

So this same thing has happened quite a few times in the last week. This evening I was sitting in the living room reading blogs folding laundry, making a menu plan and grocery list for next week, and pondering world peace when Punkin comes running in from the back yard where he was playing with hubby. I mean he was really hauling ass.

Seems he had to go stinky. God, I love potty training. Anyway, (notice I say anyway a lot?) I go and peep in the door and he asks me to "come wipe his butt". Yes, this is a direct quote. Like Chick, I am raising mine right, with an excellent vocabulary. Seems, though, that he wasn't quite ready for the wiping. As I 'm standing there waiting for all of the kids to get in the pool, I notice the cat is turned around yet again.

I reach over and turn it back around.

Punkin, still sitting on the toilet, looks at me for a moment and turns it back around.

Punkin! Have you been turning that thing around?

Yes!

Why?

Because it keeps lookin' at me!

I did my best to keep from bursting out laughing. I must say the hideous, nose hair singeing stench emanating from my darlin's cute little bum did help me do that, but damn, was it funny. The things kids say. And think. What the hell do they think? If this is what they say, I can only imagine the stuff they keep to themselves.

I'm thinking about making a little pair of sunglasses and putting it on the cats eyes. Think that would keep the evil cat from looking at his junk while he's on the toilet?I love that boy. I really do. Never a dull moment.

31 comments:

Feener said...

thank you for the laugh...i loved it.

nikki said...

I wouldn't want to cat lookin' at me while I'm doin' my business either!

justmylife said...

I'm with Nikki, I wouldn't like it either. Atleast you know now, your house isn't haunted with weird ghost who move things to drive you crazy. Kids are cute.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That is hilarious! My kids would probably kiss the damned thing every time they took a dump. Be glad he just turns it around!

BritGal' Sarah said...

OMG LMAO! That is too cute, too funny and I love the sunglasses idea!

Natalie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh that was funny.

I love the whole "come wipe my butt" thing. I always tell my son he better remember this when he's married. His wife will NEVER wipe his butt like a mommy would.

CPA Mom said...

Dude that is the funniest photoshop of a picture I have ever seen...I can lick my own balls...ROFLMAO!!

What IS it with boys wanting their ass wiped? My almost 6 year old, will just wait there, In the position, until I do it for him.

Jennifer said...

When he climbs the tower in 12 years and starts blowing away innocent people, we'll all know why!!

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I'm thinking you need to install a bidet or a urinal for the kitty to use? Poor Punkin.

the planet of janet said...

bwahahahahahaha....

poor kid. traumatized by the killer kitty stare. (not that i blame him, you understand!!!)

mjd said...

Funny story. Just, what I need a toilet brush cat.

Seis said...

I like the glasses.

Law Student Hot Mama said...

My mom has a rooster at her house that sits on top of her fridge. It's ceramic.

It freaks me out and every time I'm there I'm always plotting on how I'm going to shatter it into a million pieces so it won't stare at me anymore.

I'm so over ceramic creatures!

That Chick Over There said...

When I was in middle school I had this Johnny Depp poster on my wall? And I would put a post-it note over his eyes while I changed clothes.

I'm with your boy on this one.

Kellie said...

Jimmy's step-Mom has a 4 foot tall ceramic bear in the guest bathroom. Don't ask. She's odd like that. Anyone that uses that bathroom always got stage fright because the bear seemed to be staring you down. A couple weeks ago, I went into the bathroom and almost wet my pants from laughing so hard.

She had put a sleeping mask over the bear's eyes.

So, I'm with Punkin on this one :)

Bren said...

John Lennon kitty is much cooler!

That Punkin is so funny! I have to agree with him. I wouldn't want the kitty looking at me either.

Marmarbug said...

That is too funny! I agree I wouldn't want a ceramic kitty watching me tinkle either.

Emma in Canada said...

Hilarious!

Catwoman said...

So funny! Poor Punkin'! As Britney Spears' crazy fan would say "Leave Punkin' alone you crazy staring ceramic cat!"

Alison said...

that is tooo cute!!! He likes his privacy!!

buddha_girl said...

I may have a genetic link with Punkin! I can't do ANYTHING potty-wise with someone looking at me - fake or not. I just recently ALMOST conquered my "can't pee if the bathroom is quiet and I think someone is listening stage."

Tell Punkin I've got his back!

Mamma Schmoo said...

I just about peed my pants!!! That is too funny. I dig your kitty glasses too.

Rachel said...

I am speechless because I am laughing so hard!!

Fucking hilarious!!!

dawn224 said...

I was totally entertained by this and then LOVED LOVED the cat with glasses :) Hooray for weird cat stuff!

Jenni said...

Hilarious! So, so, so funny!

MommaDrool said...

that is one of the funniest things i have ever heard...don't you sometimes wonder what goes through their little heads!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Boy likes his privacy -- can't say I blame him.

Cute story!

elena jane said...

lol, of course it was him....i am seriously laughing cos that is SO something my kids would do!!

ps - love the new look, i've been away too long from blog reading!!

Anonymous said...

Blue Momma,

Where did you buy this cat toilet brush holder? I'm in NY, and only saw it in one store in the same color that you have, but I want it in black. Can you tell me if you've ever seen it in black? What company makes it? What store sold it to you? I REALLY want this thing. PLS HELP. Thanks.

Blue Momma said...

Anonymous - I think I got it at Bed Bath and Beyond, but it was a loooong time ago. Not sure if they had it in other colors.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Blue Momma! I saw it at Bed Bath & Beyond too, but like I said, they only had it in the same color as yours. I scoured the internet trying to find it in black, but not only can't I find it in black, I can't find it at all anywhere else. It seems like Bed Bath & Beyond is the only place that sells it, so I'm headed there to get it in white. Thanks again for your help!