Life in the Fish Bowl

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My Latest Consignment Haul


I shopped at a local consignment sale last night. OK, yesterday afternoon. Well, maybe evening.

Actually, I was there from 2pm until after 10pm. Yes, I am insane. And I waited in line (and no, I was not first) for 2 hours before that. Which since I wasn't after a "big" item (playhouse, power wheels, stroller, etc) was a complete waste of time.

Of course if I hadn't waited in line I would have had no choice but to go to Chuck E Cheese for the second day in a row. Yea line waiting!!!!

So is working 20 hours PLUS sorting day worth getting to shop early? Definitely. If you are looking for a Polo shirt in a 4T without stains that doesn't cost $12? Don't look at Kid's Market because I bought them all. Well, except for those other FOUR orange ones.

Was this the year of the orange or something? Because it seemed like everything I picked up was orange. Good thing Punkin likes orange.

So of course I spent too much. I bought way too much, but my kid is stocked for the summer - which in Alabama lasts about eight months. I'm probably half stocked for next summer, too. So yea me.

Here it all is....

RL Polo shirts and shortsRL Polo polo shirtsSwim trunks. I know he doesn't need this many so you don't need to tell me again.ShortsShirtsMore shirtsUnderwear. Now don't snarl your nose up at the underwear. It's not like I bought stinky, skid marked, old man underwear. And no, he didn't need 52 pair, but that's what he got. Punkin? More excited about the underwear than anything else I bought!

Pajamas. The Diego ones? Brand new.These are for Easter.Is this guy cute or what? If you can't tell, he is a chair. Perfect for Punkin's room, beside his "library" (bookshelf).I found a friend for Punkin's lion. $5. Can't beat that. Now when he has company there should be no fighting over who gets to sit on the animal.Punkin got into his toys before the pics were taken so this won't necessarily be pretty. And please, don't look at the chaos in the rest of the room!

Forest animalsA walking, remote control gorillaBooksHungry hipposEver seen this game? We haven't opened it yet.Ocean animals.Fisher price animals.Ms. Spider rain boots. These are for Easter, too. He's gonna love these as he is rain boot crazy!Play food. Punkin loves play food and he was sorely lacking in the french fry department. No more, I say. No more.

Look at my big boy putting his groceries in his cabinet. Women, check that out. He's a catch.

Big ass pile of clothes I now have to wash and find hangers for and put away. Volunteer helpers are welcome. It is now 6:20pm and that pile of crap is still on my love seat. Hopefully I'll get it all washed and put away before fall.

My Attempt At A Short Post


Consignment shopping.

I was there nine hours.

I spent way too much.

Punkin' thinks it is Christmas.

I wore my pedometer.

I walked 8200 steps while shopping.

My ass?

Kicked.

Gym today?

NO.

School for Punkin today?

NO. We skipped.

Attire for today?

Pajamas.

Happy Monday!

Isn't It Funny...., Part 3


The other day I stopped to get gas for my mom mobile. I made a point to stop at a particular station because I had noticed that they had regular unleaded for $2.77.

Isn't it funny that I was excited about $2.77 a gallon and actually thought, "What a bargain!"?

Come to think of it, maybe I should have called this one Isn't It Sad..., Part 1.

I never thought I'd get all tingly about paying $2.77 a gallon for gas.

Oh, and here's Isn't It Sad...., Part 2. Isn't it sad that the last thing I got all tingly about was the $2.77 per gallon gas????

*****************
I actually prepared this post last week. Then day before yesterday I get gas again. What do I pay? $3.07!!!!!!!! Damn! What is going on? Guess my trip to MA (had I mentioned that?) will have to wait a while. It truly is sad if buying gas is what forces me back into the workforce.

And may I add WOO HOO - blogger spell check is working again! And double WOO HOO! I'm off to shop at the big consignment sale today. Wish me luck - and strength to survive it. I will accept donations to cover my purchases via Pay Pal.

Testosterone Extravaganza


Punkin and I went to a play group yesterday. A BOYS ONLY playgroup. My Mom's group is great, but there are way many more girls than boys. Luckily Punkin has found a few girls that can handle him (and even kick his butt a bit), but it was sure nice for him to be able to hang out with "the guys".

We started out at the fire station, where they all pretty much ran amuck like little boys do. They all seemed to want to sit in the front seat at the same time, but things went incredibly smoothly. Then we went over to play at our hostesses (hostess'? blogger spell check is dead, so pardon the misspellings) house. Can you say Random Mommy?

Yes, we were at the famous Random Mommy's house. I even got to meet her hubby. Luckily I was trying too hard to keep up with Punkin to say something embarrassing in reference to her blog. I also promised to post some really complimentary pictures, but it turns out that once we got there I talked way more than I took pictures, so I can't really post any. Here some of the boys are playing ring around the shed. Sounds thrilling, doesn't it?Punkin did try to get his mommy the baby she wants. This picture is him asking if he can take "it" home with him.Sadly, they decided to keep her and we came home alone. There's always next time though, isn't there?

This Housewife Needs Help!!!


My house is a wreck. Well, not at right this moment (it was cleaned in anticipation of a playdate which I had to cancel....Grrrrrrrr), but pretty much most of the time. Neither my husband or I ever had to pick up after ourselves while growing up and now we are lazy, messy, slovenly piles of shit paying for it.

I get the house cleaned and have the best intentions of keeping it that way. I print cleaning schedules (thanks Mommapeas!), I make check lists, I try to trick others into doing it for me do a little bit each day, but nothing seems to work for me.

I LOVE a clean house. I love being able to walk through a room and not have to walk around crap in the floor. I love clean, shiny counters in the kitchen and I love actually seeing the counter in my bathroom. So, please someone, tell me why I have such a hard time keeping my house the way I like it? I mean, I'm no Albert Einstein, but I'm no slouch in the brains department either. So why is keeping a house in order so damn hard for me?

Once I get started I tend to do a good, thorough job when cleaning. The problem is getting started. I get up in the morning with the best of intentions and the next thing I know it is 9pm and I've accomplished nothing. As I am getting more in control of the other parts of my life it is really, really frustrating to still be struggling with something that comes so easily to most people.

I waited a bit late to take pics to prove my tale of slovenliness isn't exaggerated (remember? pre playgroup cleaning), but here is a pic I sent M a while back to prove I am indeed messy as hell. If you come to my house and all of the bedroom doors are locked? This is why!So, oh dear internets, please share your secrets with me! How do you stay motivated to clean on a daily basis? How do you drag yourself away from the blogs off of the couch to get started each day? Does anyone struggle as much as I do? If you can't give me the answers I want, at least tell me there is someone with a house at least as chaotic as mine!

Quick and Easy - And I'm Not Talking About Myself


I haven't been cooking so much lately. I know, stay at home mommy, isn't that my job? I agree, it is, but I think everyone is aware that I've been quite the slacker lately. I've worked out a lot and did a lot of planning in my mind, but haven't quite got a handle on the housewifely duties. So the other day I got one of those Kraft advertisements magazines in the mail and tore out a few pages that looked yummy to try at a later time.

My intentions were good. But damn, if hubby is going to be working late (don't beat me up about that - his choices are why he has to do it) I'm eating a sandwich. Punkin would eat Noodle Rings three meals a day so he's happy as well. Anyway, tonight it was use it or lose it for some pork chops I had in the fridge so I actually cooked. Hubby actually came home only a few minutes after dinner was done, too, which was nice.

So I tried a new recipe, suggested by those wonderful folks at Kraft. It had all convenience products in it, with the exception of the nice, fresh pork. It sounded really good, too. Lots of salty, processed, non vegetable goodness. I had my camera out - just in case any disaster thing good happened, but the nice melony goodness of my Midori (that counts as a serving of fruit doesn't it? Hell, I mixed it with OJ!) distracted me and I have no photos.

So I get it all ready, cook it, and take it out of the oven. If you've changed a really nasty, chunky baby poop diaper lately you have a good idea what I saw. Except instead of corn I had cranberries. Honestly, it looked pretty nasty to me. Chunky baby shit with pork chops. Yumm. But it was cooked and I was hungry so I gave it a try.

And...... it was good. Quick, easy, and tasty. You can't beat that unless someone else is doing the cooking. Punkin even cleaned his plate!!! Without even one threat. He did leave part of his Veg-All, but he ate every last bite of the poopy pork. That folks, is a rare event when I try something other than chicken nuggets.

So it was a cook pleaser, a hubby pleaser (he's taking the leftovers in his lunch tomorrow), and a kid pleaser. And when those three people are pleased life around here is pretty sweet.

If you'd care to attempt to recreate my culinary masterpiece, here's the recipe:

Tangy Pork Chop Stuffing Bake

6 pork chops (about 3.5 lbs)
1 pkg Stove Top Stuffing Mix for Pork
1 can (16 oz) whole berry cranberry sauce
3/4 cup Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce
2 Tbsp. brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook chops in skillet on medium heat 5 minutes on each side or until browned on both sides. Meanwhile, prepare stuffing in a large saucepan as directed on package.

Place chops in 13x9 inch baking dish; set aside. Mix cranberry sauce, barbecue sauce and sugar. Add to stuffing; mix lightly. Spoon evenly over chops.

Bake 30 minutes or until chops are cooked through.

Enjoy!!!!

Huh???


This morning we were sitting in the recliner in the basement, taking it easy and watching some Wonder Pets (Save the Bullfrog; Save the Poodle, just in case you were wondering.)

I notice that Punkin is playing with his junk, and I ask him what he is doing.

It's up. (And it certainly was.)

I'm always interested in what he is thinking and why he is doing things so I asked "What is that?"

It's an instrument.

What? Why is it an instrument?

Because I want to play it. Play my penis.

I was thinking of maybe trying the violin in a year or so, so this definitely puts a kink in my plans. What is it with boys? Hell, what is it with men? I knew they never out grew the fascination with their boy parts, but I never realized it started so early.

I think they years to come will not be boring. Not at all.


Thursday Thirteen #10 - Things That Really Piss Me Off



Thirteen Things That Really Piss Me Off

  1. People who speed up and then stay in the lane that is ending until the last moment and then flip you off when you won't let them merge. If you do this, you are an asshole. Poodlehead disagrees with me on this, but she is wrong (and possibly one of them).
  2. People who walk around the grocery store like they are the only ones there or like they are a damn Macy's parade float. Move your ass out of my way and don't even think about rolling your eyes at me. You probably are one of those who stay in the lane too long, too.
  3. Parents who bring their kids to MDO when they know good and well they are too sick to go out. I know you want some time away from your spawn, but why do you think that gives you the right to infect mine? May the bird flu take you out early on, before you get a chance to spread it to us.
  4. People who seem to be able to eat whatever they want and still be thin really, really piss me off. I don't think I even need to elaborate on this one.
  5. Whining. I can take crying. I can take screaming. I can take my three year old putting his hand on his hip and pretty much telling me to fuck off. But I abhor whining. It makes me want to pull my hair out, one strand at a time. Or buy a crack pipe. And adult whining? Please, pass that pipe.
  6. When we order pizza and hubby orders one I don't like at all, then proceeds to eat 3/4 of the one that I do like, therefore ensuring that he has a second one all to himself. This is the reason we don't order more than one pizza anymore. Plus our asses are too wide for pizza.
  7. All those damn W bumper stickers. Come on folks. After 7+ years of that asshole guy, haven't you caught on yet? Scratch that obscene shit off of your bumper/window, please.
  8. The fact that I live somewhere where I feel the need to take my Hillary sign out of my car window for fear of keying or slashed tires. I have to be subjected to the W stickers (see #7), but you can't tolerate my sign? Two words for you: Bite me, assholes. Ok, three words.
  9. That Dish Network, whom I normally love, isn't carrying Noggin 24/7 like every other cable/satellite provider on earth. Dish, why do you want to mess with me? How dare you deny me Dora at 11pm or the Franklin movie? When those W people get though biting me you need to take your turn.
  10. One of my cats won't clean her butt. Why, Pretty Girl, why? Why do you feel the need to subject me and mine to you endless dingleberries? Other cats lick their asses clean. Why are you too good to do the same? Just remember that when I have to shave your ass again.
  11. When I spend 45 minutes flat ironing my hair and then go out, only to discover 90% humidity and that my nice straight hair is now an afro. A curse on curly hair. A curse, I tell you.
  12. People who say they'd love to have curly hair. Especially when they say it on a #11 day. You only think you'd love it. With straight hair you have options. With curly hair, not so many.
  13. Having to come up with thirteen of these on Thursdays. I always seem to make it to 12 and then nothing. Isn't thirteen unlucky anyway? How about we do a Tuesday Twelve?

Surely They Picked The Wrong Person...


I've been given a bit of blog bling over the past couple of months. Of course, I've been terribly remiss in posting about it. But hey, I've hardly posted at all, so I'm hoping it isn't taken personally. This whole being a slacker blogger/finding balance and control in my life/being a lazy ass really has been detrimental to keeping up with blog business.

All that said, it still gives me a bit of a tingle to get one of these. I'm sure you are giving them to me because you've already tagged all of the good bloggers and can think of no one else you really love me. Hell, I love me, even if my blog has sucked major ass the past month or so. But I do appreciate the thoughts. As I've said a million times before, I still can't believe anyone wastes takes the time to read my blog. So thanks!

I'm sure I'm leaving someone out here and if so, nothing personal, I still love you. I just haven't kept up with things like I should.

Here goes...

I recieved this one
from Bren, Alison, and Crystal.

From JJ, who is always airing her dirty laundry, I got this one
Lisa awarded me this one, which is oh so appropriate
poop award

This one came from Junebug and AFF. I read so many great blogs (and I am reading, even if I'm not commenting!) that it's hard to pass these things along without feeling like I am leaving someone out. So if I read you or comment on your blog? These lovely bits of bling are yours if you'd like them! Because if I didn't think you rock I wouldn't be reading your blog. Oh, and I'll throw my own little award in the ring, too. Grab it if you like it. Or you could blow it up, print it, and use it for dart practice!!!! Either way, I'm honored you stopped by!!!!

Fun Monday


fun-monday.jpg

I'm not officially signed up for Fun Monday this week, but upon seeing the topic over at AFF's new wordpress home, I thought: I can do this. So here goes.

The Crown Princess at Ohh a shiny pen is hosting Fun Monday this week. Her request was:

I want to hear the ONE song that is you. The song that whenever it is heard, you smile. I am not looking for the soundtrack of your life, just that one song. Your friends hear it and think of you. You can post the video, the lyrics, the wav file. However you want to post it is great.

This is easy for me. I always liked this song anyway and with the roller coaster I've been riding the last year or two it is very applicable. Not that it probably always wasn't, but I'm cutting myself a bit of slack. I think all women - and men for that matter - have many facets to their personalities, some of which only occasionally make an appearance. However rare, they are still there and likely to pop up at a moments notice.

I also think the song is quite empowering. Many strong willed, assertive women get this label simply for having their own opinions and feeling they have the freedom - and right - to express them. Even when they aren't popular or don't conform or simply piss some people off.

So if that makes one a bitch? I'm proud to have the title! I hope all of my bitches listen to this and are equally proud of themselves!


Haiku Friday


Haiku Friday
AFF requests
And her wish is my command.
Haiku - just for you!

Ms Conservative.
Ms Liberal Democrat.
But somehow it works.

Come on WDW!
I'm ready for a visit.
But won't let her cook!

I've been uninspired,
Very few posts here lately,
Not even poop-ku.

Pampering today.
Yes, myself. A pedicure.
A little foot love.

If you hear screaming
It is when they see my feet.
Think Captain Caveman.

Waffle and bacon
Must go fix for my Punkin.
Yall have a good day!

He Did It!! FINALLY!


I can hardly believe it. Three years and five months is all it took.

My Punkin? Got a complete haircut this morning! And with no tears!!!!

I guess you would have had to experienced his prior haircuts to really appreciate it, but just take my word, it wasn't a pretty picture. He screamed, wiggled, cried, jumped - if you can do it sitting in a barber's chair he did it. The girls cut their fingers & his ears, they left half uncut, scalped the rest. And I'm not even mentioning the Flow-Bee cuts. My2Sons - I owe you one! Thanks, thanks, thanks for the recommendation!

Does this mean he's all grown up? I'm thinking maybe so.

He and Daddy are eating a celebratory lunch at McDonalds and are then headed to Nanny's, where he is spending the night. I've washed dishes, walked on the treadmill, got dinner ready to go in the oven for tonight and have cleaned up a bit.

Yes, this is Blue Momma. No, I haven't been snatched by a body snatcher. Just working on that control and balance stuff. I told you I was going to. Hubby is coming home and we are going to have a Lord of the Rings marathon. I got the extended edition dvd set for Christmas and have yet to watch them so it is about time.

I take that back. I watched part of the first one, but Punkin was getting so interested in it and I was afraid some of the scenes might end up scaring him so I turned it off. But today? I plan to make it through all three. Maybe accompanied by a few Midori Sours and a little snuggling.

And yes, that's all! Do you realize how long those movies are? No time for anything else!

Oh, I almost forgot. Now is the time to leave if you don't want to hear me brag on my kid.

Yesterday when I picked Punkin up from MDO, instead of hearing how rotten he had behaved (though this is happening less here lately - finally!), I got to hear something good. They are going through the letters of the alphabet and then saying words that start with each letter. The teacher told me he did well and seemed to know a lot about his alphabet. She said he did better than any of the other kids that day. ~me beaming~

Can I just mention he is in the class with mostly 4 year olds and a few five year olds? He's the youngest kid by 6 months.

So I was very proud of my little man. Very proud. He's not just the little hellion that they see at first glance. He's a smart, fun, sweet kid who just happens to have more than his fair share of energy. OK, ten times his fair share. Point being there is more to him than misbehavior and I'm glad they are beginning to see that.

My kid? Rocks.

Damn. Now I'm missing him already. Maybe I'll go to Nanny's house, too......