Life in the Fish Bowl


Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I'm feeling the urge to post, but not to really put together complete sentences or cohesive paragraphs. Since yall already indulge me by still coming around in spite of my infrequent posting, please allow me to once again glorify the bullet post.
  • Punkin and I took a nap today. It was very nice. I sure miss nap time - though I must admit that if he started napping again I would so be napping with him vs. my old habit of blogging cleaning.
  • I was worried that Punkin might not enjoy his second visit to the dentist as much as his first. All he was worried about was that he got to go back by himself like a big boy and that he'd get a toy. Hmmmph. The kid grew up when I wasn't looking.
  • I just got a new phone and along with it unlimited internet and texting. I am sure I've found my latest addiction and probably the reason for my next new car and hospital visit.
  • I also realize that I have all of this unlimited texting now, but no one is texting me. Will this crap make me needy? Because I feel needy and in next of some text love soon. Hubby can't help me out because I most certainly did not add it to his phone!
  • I installed Google Talk yesterday and realize that my gmail invisibility shield is no longer in effect. However, I did catch up with three "long lost" pals since that time, which was nice. You chicks know who you are. It was nice chatting with you!
  • My registration for school in the spring is complete. No last minute, what am I gonna do, holy shit crap for me this go round. This time I was prepared. And yes, that is quite a rare thing for me lately.
  • My docs office called yesterday to schedule another appointment for me with a different doctor for some testing. Don't you love it when they earn their $$$ by actually taking care of you? Seriously, though. Considering they will be poking a big ass needle up my woo ha and stealing fetal cells that are mine, all mine, they should act as my concierge. Shouldn't they?
  • Oh, yeah. That last one. Yes, I am. Eleven weeks today. Yipeeeee! And this does serve as my public announcement. Being that pretty much everyone I actually talk to in real life knows already, but have all been sworn to secrecy, I guess it is kind of anticlimactic, but still, an announcement all the same. And yes, we are ecstatic.
  • Punkin will accept no news other than that he is having a sister. He prefers to name her Orange Juice. Ha! He says we "already have enough boys in our house." He is such a little man!!!
Ok, I'm outta here. The Punk is playing for a moment and I can catch up on my DVR. Top Chef anyone?????

Woo Hoo!!!

Things I Have Learned

As of this past September I am 40 years old. Damn. Time flies. I remember when I thought 21 was old. Argh.

In honor of my agedness, I wanted to share some of my great wisdom. Here it is.

  • People will always stop and stare at a train wreck. They don't want to be a part of it by any means, but they cannot resist taking a moment to slow down and look - to count their blessings in comparison.
  • Life includes many decisions. If you don't make the correct one the first time, don't be a dumb ass. Suck it up and change course. A failure can be a good thing - if you learn from it.
  • Dependence on the approval/acceptance of others is a sure fire route to unhappiness and discontent. Why do so many people need it? If you love yourself - warts and all! - what other people think about you (whether it be good or bad) doesn't matter so much anymore - and that is incredibly freeing.
  • Contentedness is the thing I strive for most. I work on it everyday, but haven't achieved it yet. Still, though, I haven't given up.
  • You don't have to like someone to be nice to them and you don't necessarily always have to be nice to the people you do like. Life is messy and shit happens. Just because I'm grouchy sometimes doesn't mean you aren't my friend - or just because I'm nice doesn't mean you are. Civility is an underrated quality in my opinion.
  • Quality is more important than quantity. A good, small steak. A few good friends. More doesn't mean better, it just means more.
  • Sadly, sometimes they are laughing at you, not with you. Don't sweat it and move on or do something to change your situation. Only YOU control YOU.
  • Kids really do change you and your life and all of those people who told me that really weren't full of shit. I admit it. I was wrong.
  • If you have a freak flag, fly it - and be proud. But be able to live with the consequences of it. If you can't handle the consequences maybe you need to reevaluate your flag.
  • Stopping and listening to the advice of friends whose opinion you value is important. Even if you are a big know it all like me. You have these people around you for a reason - take advantage of them and their experience.
  • Life is too short for negativity. I will excise all of it that I possibly can from my life, though I know some of it is unavoidable. Dragging negative shit out is not my style. Let's wallow in it for a bit and then move on and get over it.
  • There are very few people who do not have some type of qualities which I admire and who I don't feel I can learn something from - even if it is learning what not to be/say/do. When you quit learning you are dead. And a sad, deluded person, too.
  • A human can live off spicy hummus and pita bread alone - at least for a few weeks. That is some gooood shit.
  • Going off of my happy pills is/was not a good idea. I need those fuckers.

Humility - and How Blue Momma Got Some

Long time no blog! I'm still alive and kicking, just busy as hell. I'll recap the summer and why I've not been around later, but - yeah, you guessed it - I don't have time right now. Just wanted to post a bit so you knew I hadn't in fact dropped off of the face of the earth or moved to Julia Tutwiler or something....

First of all, the title of this post has endless appeal to my inner twelve year old. I started to put how BM got some. I always giggle when people call me BM. If that doesn't get you a dose of humility, what will? Come on. BM? Basically I was saying how shit got some? hehe I crack my twelve year old self up. Then how BM shit Blue Momma got some. Like Blue Momma ever gets some! HA! Again, I crack my twelve year old self up!

(I promise I really didn't spend the summer sitting in the corner smoking weed and making bad jokes. Just this morning. Except for the weed part.....)

Anyway, I went back to college the week. I decided what that when I grow up I want to be a math teacher so I enrolled myself in a local college and got started on it. (Can you say long story short?)

Math. Chosen because math is a teacher shortage area and jobs are plentiful. Chosen because there are federal and state funds to repay student loans for math teachers. Chosen because I want to teach middle school and kick ass at addition and subtraction.

Not chosen because I'm some type of math prodigy. Puh-leeeease.

So again, long story short (from now on LST because I have a shit load of long stories to tell (damn lack of blogging!)), I need four hours of advanced math classes in order to start my teacher education curriculum. Holy shit. You need calculus I at a minimum to get into any of these classes. I have only taken algebra.

Big deal, right? I can just bust my ass and catch up. I didn't think I was ready but the secretary (!) who registered me (LST) thought I could handle it, so what the hell. They suckered me in with the whole "you can start your ED classes in the spring!" line and I went for it.

I mean, I'm smart right? I can do anything if I want to, right? I'm not just your average dufus! I can handle it.

So I enroll in Numerical Analysis. Math 330 or some shit like that. Buy my book. Take my old ass to class with the 20 year olds. I don't know if Jaydoug reads my blog, but if he does? They did not think I was the teacher! Smart ass. They just thought I was some old chick.

I go into the class at 2pm. By 2:02pm I have realized what a fucking mistake I've made! I am not that smart. I do not know everything. I cannot just study real hard and handle whatever is thrown at me.

Holy shit. Talk about feeling academically inadequate! I felt like a total dumb ass! Those 20 year olds were throwing around mathematical terms I had never even heard of, much less learned and forgotten 16 years ago when I had algebra!

I sat through the class, drawing daisies in my notebook and thinking what the fuck is my dumb ass doing here. I volunteered to the professor that he didn't have to ask me to drop the class, that I was kicking my own dumb ass, unprepared, prerequisite not having ass out.

So what does an over confident know it all dumb ass do then? Register for calculus I.

I think you see where this is headed, right? I go to calI the next day. I'm not as totally lost as I was the day before, but I'm not shouting out answers from my half desk (who the hell invented those things anyway? A one armed man? It had to be a man, regardless of the number of arms he had). I'm thinking I'm one smart chick and this stuff will come back to me.

Then he hands out a pretest.

At that point I again realize that I don't know shit.

You guess what happens next?

I go home and plurk endlessly (LST) about my ineptitude and everyone tells me how I can do it! To hang in there! It's easy! Woo hoo! Go BM!

Finally, at this point, I listen to inner voice. Remember, I'm a know it all. I always get into trouble when I ignore my inner voice. So my inner voice is telling me to put my old, dumb, algebra 16 years ago ass into precal and to quit fucking around with shit I have no clue about.

That's what I did. Precal? Not a breeze at this point, but not totally foreign either. I won't be as quick as the 18 year olds in the class that had algebra last semester before they graduated high school (fucking babies), but I an hang. It is coming back to me. Maybe I'm not a totally clueless old hag after all.......

So to sum that all up, my know it all ass was reminded that I in fact do not know everything. That being older doesn't necessarily make me smarter at anything everything. That advanced math is for the fucking birds.

If you ever get to thinking you are really smart - you know, like me - just go sit through a numerical analysis class for an hour. It'll remind you that yeah, you may know some stuff, maybe even some really good shit, but you don't. know. everything. Not by a long shot. And that some stuff? About some stuff you don't even have a fucking clue.

So my big head? Well, this week it has officially been deflated. If you see some chick walking around with an oversize body and an itty bitty head (like that guy on Men in Black!), well that's me. Humility is reigning and I'm put in my place.

I can't promise it will last long, but for now? I'm totally it's bitch.

Uh, What's The Deal?

Recently Punkin has:
  • peed in the litter box
  • peed in a Target bag
  • pretended his wang was a water hose and sprayed it all over the bathroom
  • tried (yes tried because it wasn't a total success) to pee through a brand new roll of toilet paper, spraying the toilet and the wall in the process
  • stopped lifting the seat when he has to pee
  • peed in the bushes at a birthday party
  • attempted to pee in the bathroom sink
  • peed in my granny's potty seat/lift thingie which was in the bathroom floor (it is just a ring, it has no bottom)
  • threatened to pee on me
I thought when potty training was over I was done with worrying about his peeing. What's the deal with this new obsession with peeing? He'll be four in just over a month. Seriously. Shouldn't he know better than this?

If he starts experimenting with his poop I am listing him on Ebay.

Looking For Some Funny??

Ok, I'm not around much lately am I? Just too busy. Summer has been fun, but I really miss my couch potato days!

Lots to tell, not much time to tell it. But if you are looking for a dose of funny, go over here and check out my girl Janet. Hell, I'm even late posting this so make me look better by going over and leaving her a shout out or two.

Maybe then she'll quit kicking my ass at Scrabulous. And Word Twist. And Scramble.

Ouch. My ass hurts.

My only revenge is Sudoku, where I'm doing quite well. Though surely after posting this she'll begin kicking my ass at that, too.

Ok, I'm gonna shut up while I'm less behind.

You Are NEVER Out Of The Woods

No really. You think you are out of the woods, but you aren't.

My Punkin?

This kid right here
The one who knows every animal on earth (well, close to it anyway!), who can tell you what those animals eat and which country or continent they live on, whether they sleep during the day or at night.

The one who remembers EVERYTHING he's ever heard and is almost always right (which is a very irritating quality in a three year old.)

The one who will carry on a conversation with you like you and he are the same age?

My nearly four year old, potty trained son?

Yes. He did it.

Peed in the litter box.

I must admit he learned it all on his own, with no training from me. I'm so proud.

While I may be bitching about it now, I guess it is preferable to a few days earlier when he peed in a Target bag and then brought it to me. Luckily it was a Target bag without a hole in it.

What is it with these preschool age boys and their obsession with their body parts and bodily functions? All I hear from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed is poop, pee, penis, wingding, junk, poot, butt, butthole, etc, etc. I am SO over it.

I even pointed out to him that all boys have penises and that they aren't that special. Sorry to any guys who may have happened by this post, but they aren't. (Ok, he just pretend farted at me while I was typing that sentence.) I mean you all have them. That makes them, well, very regular.

To those of you with older kids - is there an end to this or am I doomed to a life of potty talk? Seriously. If he's not going to stop it, I'm gonna have to get better at it. There is no way I'm gonna be out pooted pooped talked by a three year old.

At least I hope I won't be...............

If At First You Don't Succeed....

Punkin's birthday is coming up in a month or so. Now that I'm not working we really can't afford to buy the kind of cake I he wants, so I've become our birthday cake baker.

Last year was my first attempt at birthday cake making. I was going to do a trial run before hand, but due to my lazy assiness lack of time I failed to do so. This year I'm determined not to embarrass myself, so I'm getting started in plenty of time.

Punkin wants a Backyardigans (circus Backyardigans to be exact) party and with those vivid colors I'm going to have to do fondant. I hate the taste of icing when it has enough coloring in it to get it nice and bright.

Anyway, tonight was my first attempt. I made marshmallow fondant and I guess it turned out ok, though making it was a pain in the ass. Of course my execution leaves much to be desired. First, I didn't roll out a large enough piece and had to try to add more to it, ensuring that I had creases and lines where the pieces joined. Also my rolling pin wasn't large enough or maybe I just don't know what I'm doing, so I left more lines.

Fondant is supposed to be perfectly smooth. Obviously mine isn't. But for a first try? I can live with it. Hopefully with a few more practice runs I'll be able to do Pablo and Uniqua justice.

Here it is, my contribution to tomorrow's playgroup:
Oh, and an in real life picture of my new love. He's a real hottie, isn't he???!!!!

You Know You Want One....

Ok girls - and guys, if you're out there - y'all know I've been working on a cookbook for TBDMGE. Thanks to a late rally by the girls in the group and to several of you we got all of the recipes we needed - plus some! It's gonna be a great book.

Now to the good part. You want one, right??? It's going to be really nice. 450 recipes. Hard cover, spiral bound. Cooking tips, conversions, etc. Lots of tried and true recipes which are cooked in the homes of the moms league members and some of your favorite blogger's kitchens, too. It will make an excellent addition to your collection or to your mom's, your friends, etc.

Right now - today and tomorrow! - we are selling them for the bargain basement price of $13. We priced the advance sales low as we didn't expect to produce as large a book as we are ending up with. Hence, the deal. After the books arrive they will be going for $20.

So come on. Help us out. Help some great charities. Help me! The books will be here in late August or mid September. I'll put it in a nice padded envelope and mail it to you with the appreciation of myself and the MLOB (Moms League of Birmingham, aka The Best Damn Moms Group Evah!).

We can take PayPal payments at MLOBCookbook at gmail dot com. Shipping is $3.50 to anywhere in the US, plus $1 for each additional book. This pretty much just covers shipping and the envelope and is not a money maker for us. No handling charge! So your US total would be $16.50 for one book.

Think about it. You'd be contributing to some great charities, helping me and my group out, and getting a kick ass cookbook for yourself and your family. Seems like a win/win situation to me!

If you have any questions, you can email me directly at bluemomma2u at gmail dot com.

Now start typing. PayPal dot com........

Wordless Wednesday - Summertime

Love: Sometimes You Just Know When It's Right

When I first saw him, I knew it was meant to be. He just had that look.

You know what I mean.

You see him and know you HAVE. TO. HAVE. HIM.

He looked cool. He looked strong. He looked capable.

He looked like he could handle everything I could ever want him to do. He looked like he'd even enjoy it.

Yes, he's a bit more than I'd planned for, but I thought I could make it work.

Seriously. One like this? You want to keep for a life time and cherish every day.


I went for it.

He should be here Thursday.

Personal Responsibility: What Is It? And Do You Have Any?

What is personal responsibility? Huh? What did you say? ~crickets chirping~

Well, what is it? I guess first of all you want to know why I'm asking. A friend of mine is shopping for a new car. For multiple reasons, of course, but one thing/thought leads to the next, leads to a conversation with someone else, on, and on and it just got me thinking. What is it?

I actually did a google search for the definition of personal responsibility. Some definitions I agreed with, some I didn't. I think for me personal responsibility is the feeling that there is something out there bigger than me and that I owe it something, some effort on my part, to make it better. I'm not talking religion here, though I guess in a way it sounds similar. I'm not even talking about success, just effort.

I'm but one person in a big world. But I truly believe one person can make a difference. Whether that be directly through my own actions, or indirectly through my influence on someone else, I firmly and absolutely believe it. Not that I'm selfless or by any means a crusader or anything. I often tend to be a bit self centered. Don't let me fool you. But opinions? I have them - oh do I ever have them - and they shape what I see as my personal responsibility.

Who are these responsibilities to? My family. My friends. My community. The world at large. The environment. You name it. Seems I've tagged myself with a shitload of responsibility! Yet, I do believe it is something I am responsible for.

I think that people often absolve themselves of their responsibilities for what they see as perfectly rational reasons. They are only one person. They aren't rich or powerful. No one would listen to them. And you know what? All of that may be true. But does the fact that your actions, however well intended, may amount to nil, resolve you of your responsibilities? I don't think so.

What do I feel responsible for today? Let's see.
  • the environment. It's pretty much going to shit, right? What difference would it make if I drove a Hummer? I'm just one person, after all. But with the state of things in the world I just feel that for me - for myself - this is where I'm held responsible. I don't drive a Prius or ride a bicycle to the grocery store, but I do try to be environmentally responsible when I can. I drive a car with decent fuel mileage. I just spent Punkins college fund on a new central AC with out freon. I did use disposable diapers and I buy plastic cups. But damn it, I'm trying. I'm trying to have a positive impact where I can.
  • other people. Ok, I know I can't really be responsible for other people, but I can use my voice, no matter how small, to state what I believe in and to reject injustice and unfairness when I see it. I strongly believe that when you keep silent about an injustice you are just as complicit in it as those who are its most vocal perpetrators. Speak up people. YOU can make a difference. And even if you don't think you can? Speak up anyway! You just might be surprised.
  • myself. How many people don't seem to take responsibility for themselves? I wish I had a dime for every one of them. They seem oblivious to their impact on those around them: their friends, family, children. They are oblivious to their impact on the environment. They are oblivious to their impact on themselves. They create a hostile or unpleasant environment for themselves and then whine/bitch/cry about such environment. Come on, people. To a great extent you determine your own path. Take charge of it. Be responsible. Own it and deal with it. YOU are responsible for YOU! And if that means getting some kick ass happy pills to help you on your way? Go for it! I believe that no one can MAKE me happy, or MAKE me sad or MAKE me complete. Those feelings come from within me and I alone retain ultimate responsibility for myself. I'm a work in progress....but I'm happy with how it's going so far.

I could go on and on. You never would have guessed that, would you?

I know the trolls have been out in full force lately and this post may just draw them to my little corner of the blogosphere. Bring it on. I don't know what brought this rant on - maybe to run off my last ten commenters?? hehe I accept the responsibility for it though.

So do you accept that you have a personal responsibility to yourself and others? How do you express that belief? Do you figure you won't have an impact and just say screw it? Do you feel like you've tried and failed? Have you just give up? Talk to me people.

Talk to me or I'll start begging for recipes again........

What's the Problem, Chicks????

If you've been around here much, you've heard about my moms group. You know, TBDMGE? That's the best damn moms group evah for you newbies - or for you that aren't hanging upon my every word. Anyway, besides just hanging out with our kiddos and basking in our gloriousness, we try to do some community outreach. You know, fund raising, helping charities, etc, etc. We try to have a positive impact on our community, to make it better for others as well as for our kids and ourselves.

Currently we are working on a fundraiser cookbook. Honestly, it has been a lot of fun for me, though my hectic last month or so hasn't let me devote the time to it I should have. I am the cookbook chairperson (thank you, thank you, thank you very much). Quite an honor, huh? Actually that is just because it was my idea and because no one else was crazy enough to try to manage it. So once we get this thing out, it should be quite profitable for us, enabling us to make a nice contribution to a few of our local charities.

Now to the problem. Performance anxiety. Well, actually more like people are afraid their recipes aren't good enough. At least that is what I'm going to believe, rather than that these heifers won't get off their lazy asses and email me some recipes. Recipe anxiety, that's it. We are currently about a hundred recipes short, and our deadline is the end of the month. Not meaning we need recipes the last day of the month, meaning all of this shit needs to be at the publisher by then. Meaning I'm like oh-my-god-holy-shit-what-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-do pretty much around the clock.

Now this is where you guys come in. How about sending me a few of your best recipes? Puh-leeeease? They don't have to be originals - recipes can't be copyrighted -, just ones you and your family love. They don't even have to be for food. Got a killer recipe for slime? Send it to me. That pasty stuff you use for paper mache? Send it on. Ones for real food are great, too! And could you send them like yesterday? I'd love you forever!

Make sure and tell me how you want your name listed in the book. You can use your blog pseudonym if you'd like, or your real name is great, too. I'll list my name with yours. You'll really be helping me, TBDMGE, and some deserving charities if you can spare the time to do this.

We are also selling ADVERTISING!!! Yes, we are! How about helping deserving charities and also publicizing your blog??? Way cool, huh? Just $15. Come on, you know you want to do it! Look over there in my left side bar? See all of those BDMGE bloggers? Plus I don't even have them all listed. This cookbook will be going out to all kinds of moms in the area looking for great blogs to read. Again, puh-leeeeease??? We can take your payment via PayPal. (We can do 25-30 characters for these one line ads).

Wondering about our charities? You've heard of Toys For Tots. You probably haven't heard of Rashel Foundation. Or Jesse's Place. Check out the links. You'll want to participate then. I know you will.

You also don't know Jessica and McKaylee. Jessica is a woman in TBDMGE. She has the sweetest little year old daughter named McKaylee. Sweetest little girl you can imagine. Unfortunately little McKaylee has a brain tumor. It's a bad one and not in the best - if there can be a best - location. They are currently at St. Judes and she is starting chemotherapy. It is such an unfortunate situation. I can only imagine what they are going through. They are a young couple who also have a four year old son. It's just unimaginable. Part of your contribution will also be going to help little McKaylee. You could even specify your funds to go there if you'd like.

So come on people, help us out! Send your recipes - which costs you nothing but a few minutes of your time - or buy an ad and help out monetarily. Or both if you really rock!!! 'Cause I know you guys are the greatest and at least a few of you know how to cook! LOL So get to sending those recipes. I'll love you forever if you do......

Do You Wanna???

Ok, does anyone out there want to play Rock Band with me? I know you can play it online, but I have no idea how to find anyone. I'm lonely. ~sniff~

I also have air!!! The air just started to blow after being off all day (new ac installation) and it sure feels better, or it will in a few minutes.

So, Rock Band. Now. Online. Somebody????? bluemomma2u at gmail dot com if you are interested.

Don't make me beg.

Nature or Nurture?

What is it about becoming a husband that turns a man into the biggest prick on earth??? Or is it that I bragged that he had been good lately and bought him a nice father's day present? Because it is sure something.

Could it be that I am sticking with my sex every other day promise (oh, didn't I tell yall about that?) so he is being the king of the assholes on the off days??? I though more sex was supposed to make him less of a pain in my ass, not more of one?You know I don't care is he doesn't know what the hell he's doing when he's installing his brand spanking new satellite radio which I bought him for father's day. Don't take that shit out one me, fucktard!!!! Like I ever thought he knew what he was doing and was going to be disillusioned or something. Huh.

And don't fucking think that just because you get your shit straight that now every thing is fine and dandy. You take your fucktard ass and sleep in Punkins bed tonight. I'm taking the king.


Sorry, folks. I guess I needed to vent a bit. Oh, and the bathroom that hubby so kindly stripped the shitty wallpaper out of while I was visiting AFF? Half fucking done. I don't know why the hell I am surprised.........

On a more pleasant note, congrats to my IRL friend, Heartheireverywear, on baby #2, who will be here in February. First month, people!! First month. I'm hoping she'll pass her secrets along to me.
Oh, and tomorrow I'll post news of Carl, who has come to visit me. I'm thinking of trading hubby in for him.

Just Playing Around

OK, playing around and avoiding cleaning my pig sty house. How neat is it that I can write on the pics in the new camera while they are still in the camera? Now if the SLR would do this it would totally kick ass. Needless to say, I'm liking the new toy.

Happy Father's Day - To Me

Tonight I went shopping for a Father's Day gift for the hubby. He's been a pretty good hubby here lately and is always a great daddy so I wanted to get him something nice. Recently he's shown a fondness for my satellite radio, so I decided to get him his own so he'd leave mine the hell alone. I also picked up a season of South Park and a video game which of course he already plans to return.

I was feeling really good about treating hubby right when I walked past the cameras. Yes, I have that big ass SLR camera which is wonderful, but damn it's big. I've really been wanting something small I could easily carry around in my purse to get those great shots for my blog candid shots I'm always missing out on. Hubby even told me to buy it the other day, after reading reviews in Consumer Reports. Of course I said no, we could spend that money on other things.

Tonight however, I decided that since I have way more credit than sense I really do NEED it, I might as well go for it. So, I introduce you to the newest member of the Blue family -
How cool is it? The damn thing didn't come with a case for my purse so I'll still have to purchase that, but I'm excited for all the new cool pics I'll be able to take. So you drunk chicks at the next MNO? It's all gonna be preserved for future viewing. Or blackmail, depending on what actually goes on.......

I Knew This Day Would Come!!

I'm a decent scrabble player. I like to think I'm pretty good. I played on Facebook quite a bit, but haven't played too much lately. Then, while at AFF's place, she got me hooked again. Not only on Scrabulous, but on Bubble Words, Scramble, and Pathwords.

And you know what?

I SUCK at them all. As I pointed out to AFF, I guess it is good for my humility. The losing that is. Deflates my big winning at scrabulous head.

But today?

TWO WINS at Scramble!!!!!

Against to of my main nemesis!!!!!

Two down, two to go!! Chicks, your time is coming, too!

Four sentences in a row ending in exclamation points!!! Can you tell I'm excited!!!! And queen of the nerds!!!!

You go girl!!!!


PS. I like the short word games, especially Bubble Words, much better than Scrabulous. Fits with my attention span.

Random Ramblings

  • Can someone explain to me how our new air conditioner/heating system will cost more than my first car did? WAAAAAY more. And STFU. It wasn't that many years ago that I was 16. My car didn't have one of those cranks on the front of it.
  • What the hell is up with Tila Tequila? She just looks trashy. I don't think I'd do her if I was a guy. She sure as hell wouldn't make me want to switch teams.
  • Angelina Jolie. Now she would make me switch teams. Well, at least until Random Mommy started calling her 'gina lips girl.
  • Am I ever going to get pregnant? Because I'm getting really tired of trying. For the first time, I actually didn't even realize it was day 28 last month. I started cramping and I'm like shit, it's that time. Usually I'm hanging out, pregnancy test in hand, waiting for day 28.
  • How can my big ass look better in my bathing suit than some of the thin people I saw at the swim park the other day? Note to self: not being fat doesn't necessarily mean you are in shape.
  • Why is Punkin obsessed with all things butt? Do all preschoolers do that? His thing here lately is to come up, bend over and stick his ass out at you. Often commenting on showing you his hiney so white and shiny. Also, please don't be offended if he tells you your hiney stinks. He says it with love.
  • Why would some smart ass want to post smart ass posts on my blog? Huh? Why? I'm not feeling the love. Good thing I'm inhuman (according to Poodlehead), or I'd be hurt. ~sniff~ You'd think she didn't like her Tom-Tom........
  • Hubby was upset by the cost of the AC I picked out. Until he learned a fancy schmancy air purifier thingie was part of the package. Then he was ok with it. What the hell? Punkin will have to drive that thing to school when he turns 16.
  • If I were hubby would I rather have an IPod or satellite radio for father's day? Of course he'd probably settle for a BJ, which would be much cheaper. And I could buy myself that camera I've been wanting.
  • Why do I desperately want a pint of Chubby Hubby right now? Wonder if mine would go get me some? Of course for him to get me some I'd probably have to give him some. Hmmmm...... gotta go!
  • Gratuitous cuteness


Blue Momma, 
You should never log-on to someone else's computer and forget to log out! I may NEVER log-off and just continue to create posts. Maybe I shall share stories of you and yours... we'll see! ;)
                         as written by HearTheirEverywear

Home Sweet Home

Punkin and I made it back home today. Again the drive went outstandingly well. Unbelievable, in fact. Punkin is a real pro at this traveling thing. He could certainly teach his daddy a thing or two!

Our time in Texas was a real treat. AFF is just as nice in person as she is online. She had us a really nice welcome basket waiting for us with great treats for both mama and baby. The boys played (ok, they played 15% of the time and Punkin chased SD the rest of it!), we chatted up a storm and had a great time.

And OMG. That gym AFF doesn't go goes to? Fanfuckingtastic. Indoor pools, outdoor pools, indoor cafe, outdoor cafe. I can only imagine what the actual workout areas are like. It really did put my wonderful new Gold's to shame. AFF, don't let Pup talk you into canceling!! Get your ass down there and enjoy that place, if only for the summer!

Punkin and SD had a ball splashing in the water while we were there. We followed them around and listened to them squeal for an hour or so and then had a nice lunch at the gym. Believe it or not Punkin napped every day!! Hell, he even napped while SD stayed awake!!!! More proof of how much we wore those little dudes out.Punkin absolutely loved Barney's zoo. He would have stayed all day if he'd had his way. Monkey Mama and her little cutie joined us there and we had tons of fun. Punkin did manage to throw a fit or two towards the beginning of of the day, but rallied to end on a great note. He walked every square inch of that place and loved every minute of it. All in all an outstanding day.AFF and I spent some time chatting in the evening. Yes, we were in the same room. Yes, it was via GMail chat. I told her we were officially the internet geeks, but I'm not sure if she totally buys it. We were chatting with Janet and she even questioned what was up, if we were in the same room of what. Ha. We were, though AFF was cuddled up on the couch with Carl.

Oh, and she made me play Scrabulous on Facebook again. And like three other word games. I've got a bit rusty at my Scrabulous, but used to be pretty good. I'm hanging in there (hell, I had a 140+ point word!!), but the new games? I'm totally getting my ass kicked!!!! It is rather good for my humility I guess, but damn. Take a look at these scores. I actually came close to winning one game. Can you believe how close the scores were? Thanks for letting me not feel totally stupid, Becca! No thanks to those heifers AFF and Janet.

After three days of enjoying AFF and Pup's hospitality, we headed over to Monkey Mama's place. Another great hostess! She even let me clean up poop. Come on now. How more at home could she make me feel??? We hit the splash park and then she made a Mexican dinner for us, complete with freshly made tortillas and home made salsa. Yummmmm. Please don't ask me what I had for breakfast this morning because of course it wasn't salsa. No. I say no, it wasn't.

MM's little monkeys and Punkin played like they were siblings. Hell, they were beating each other up within five minutes of our arrival. It was great. We agreed that unless there was blood dripping through the ceiling we'd let them handle it and were able to have a nice, long chat while they battled to the death played. A great time was had by all. Punkin didn't even want to leave this morning. Actually I didn't really want to leave either!

I arrived home to quite a surprise. Hubby had got busy over the time I was gone and stripped the rest of the wall paper out of the hall bathroom and sanded most of the walls down. He even put up plastic so that the rest of the house remained dust free. I couldn't freaking believe it. He also mopped the kitchen floor, cleaned the master bath and recaulked the bathroom.

I am really thinking I should go away more often. Week after next we are going down to FL with a friend and her boys and I'm hoping he'll ad a room on - or something like that - while I'm gone. I have to say he impressed me. If I wasn't so tired tonight I'd have loved him long time, but I am and I guess he was too, as he has never emerged from Punkin's room after going to put him to bed. There is always tomorrow.......

Speaking of tomorrow. I plan on doing NOTHING tomorrow. NOTHING. I've had a great time the past few weeks, but damn am I tired. There has been an enormous amount of activity for this couch potato and I need a bit of time for rejuvenation.

Hello from AFF Land

We made it to AFF's place all in one piece and actually had a really nice drive. Punkin was unbelievable. Never cried or complained once in 11 hours. Never asked to stop to pee or for food - unlike his daddy who is a chronic stopper.

AFF is great, of course. When we arrived not only was she here (funny, huh? considering it is her house and all), but Catwoman and Little Man were here, too. Now that is a great welcome. The boys are even cuter in person than in their pictures. AFF looks like she is 15 and please don't believe all that shit about her being fat. Puhlease. Catwoman was fabulous, of course, though I must admit it felt odd to meet my first blog stalkee in person!

Punkin LOVES SD!!!! I think SD is a bit overwhelmed by Punkin's exuberance, but is coping well. It seems like every two seconds he's saying SD this, SD that. This morning while getting a lecture we were talking he said he didn't want any friends except for SD. Sweet, in a seriously bratty kind of way.

We were off to the zoo Friday, but had to change it to today due to the threat of severe weather tomorrow. Punkin is beyond excited. SD is along for the ride, as he would rather watch construction cranes and excavators than the sun bears. Yes, Punkin is obsessed with the sun bears. I'm just hoping there is such a thing as sun bears......

Monkey Mama is meeting us at the zoo, so yes, I'm getting in three blogger meets in my three days! She's bringing her little guy along, so we'll have three monkeys to chase!!!

Ok, AFF is out of the shower and dressed so I better get a move on. You guys have a great day and please, don't be too jealous of me!