The other day I was going to cook dinner. Yes, this is newsworthy because we've been living off of $5 Hot'n'Ready pizza lately. Anyway, I was going to cook chicken tetrazzini. I was cooking the chicken and figured I'd toast the almonds while it cooked. Ends up they didn't need to be toasted, but whatever. So I'm looking for the almonds.
Can't find them anywhere. Surely hubby didn't eat them. Or he will die. Because he did eat the cheese for said dish. He's always doing that kind of thing. (see how one thing really does lead to another?)
While my head is buried in my pantry looking for the almonds I smell a not so pleasant smell. Being the kick ass housekeeper that I am I ignore it and keep looking for those freakin' almonds. Not here, not there, seemingly not anywhere.
I look in the least likely place they might be because, hey, isn't that where what you are looking for always is? What do you think I find? Almonds? HELL, NO.
Have you ever purchased on of those big five pound bags of potatoes? And then not cooked them because the ones in a box are oh so much
They turn to mush. Brown, runny, stinky, liquidy mush. And run out all in your cabinet. And all over everything in said cabinet. Yea Blue Momma housekeeping!
Sadly I cleaned it up before thinking that I really should share my sorriness with the internet so there are no photos. People are always saying sure your house is messy, sure you are a shitty housekeeper. Like I'm a liar. I am so not a liar.
Have you ever let you pantry get so disorganized that you have no idea what you have in it? Well, this I do have photos of. First I cleaned out the cabinet with the liquid potatoes. After restocking it I find I have five bags of powdered sugar and two unopened cans of Crisco. Cake decorating supplies run amuck.I have about six different kinds of plastic cups and three different kinds of paper plates. And this is just this cabinet.Moving on to the next cabinet, I find tons of expired stuff. Two bags of Marie Callender's croutons. Those are just the best croutons ever. But check out those expiration datesStuffing. Equally expired. Except for that unopened bag. That one is new.No before shot here either, but here is an after.Check out all of this Kool-Aid. Bought because it is invisible and won't stain my white carpet. That would be my new white carpet. In Michigan. Yes, I transported all of this Kool-Aid from Michigan.
I think these onions also came from Michigan. Do these things expire? Why the hell did I buy them to begin with?
Corn meal. Oh, hell yes. So much expired cornmeal. This one was never even opened.Three boxes of crackers. Damn. And no one here named Polly.Here is an actual before of the next shelf up. My pasta collection. That would be about eight pounds of spaghetti plus miscellaneous other shapes. You'd think we ate this stuff three meals a day.
And look. Taco Bell taco seasoning. If I had been organized enough to know that I had this I wouldn't have fed Punkin the chipotle kind and scarred him for life. (No!! I don't like tacos!! They are hot!)
Here is the after.Notice that canister? More. Powdered. Sugar. I could make enough icing to ice all of Birmingham.
Does this stuff expire?Because it has no expiration date and damn, is it good. I forgot I had it. I think I'm gonna take my chances with it and put it back in the cabinet.
Our condiment stash. What do you think the chances are of us ever using that much tartar sauce? TRASH. See those two gallon zip lock bags? Full of candy which I took to the MDO.So now 1/4 of my pantry is clean. It no longer smells. I'm so glad no one opened that door at the dirty Santa party.
Hubby really showed his ass (though I'll spare you that photo!) when I told him to take out all of the garbage from the pantry.
He is looking back at me and saying I won't post the pics of his ass on the internet. He was only partially right. But hey, everyone has to be right once in a while.
Oh, and in case anyone wondered, I did find the almonds and the chicken tetrazzini was yummy!