Life in the Fish Bowl

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Beware of the Book Burglar


My kid loves books. He loves to read and to look at the pictures. He takes really good care of his books because he knows books are special and deserve to be treated kindly. The problem is that someone keeps breaking into our house and defacing Punkin's pop up books when we aren't looking. Can you believe it? I couldn't.

Because of this we try to keep the pop up books that we have left out of sight. We used to keep them on top of the refrigerator until they fell on my head one too many times. Then we moved them to the top shelf in his closet. And yes, smart ass, I know that you think that makes a lot more sense than on top of the refrigerator, but what thief checks the top of the fridge??

Being that my kid minds me and would never, never think of doing anything he's been told not to do, you can imagine my surprise when I saw this
Someone had broken into Punkin's room and dragged his toy basket into his closet! I know someone else must have done it because Punkin would never do something like that. He knows better than to stand on his toy basket to try to get to the shelf in his closet and he always minds me and does what he's told, so the culprit must have been a really short book thief. My kid follows my every command. Doesn't yours?

I checked the pop up books and they are all accounted for.
I think we must have nearly caught him, though, as he left the hammer which he must have used to get in with on the shelf. What kind of self respecting thief uses a green and purple hammer anyway?

I sat him down in the floor and grilled him regarding whether he had caught sight of the intruder in his room.
I told him all about the dangers of book thieves and he totally got it. He was solemn and sincere, paying attention and hanging on my every word.
We had a good laugh when I momentarily suggested his Daddy might have been after his books, but we quickly realized how absurd that was. They didn't have nearly enough pictures, had way too many words and no girls with bunny ears were on the covers.
With our little talk over, he got back to some serious studying. He asked me to please let you all know that his Daddy dressed him last night and that he would never put that pajama top and bottom together if he was dressing himself.
He just didn't want to hurt his Daddy's feelings. He's sweet like me that, always considering other's feelings before his own.
Before I went back to reading blogs cleaning my house and posting flyers warning the neighbors to be on the lookout for the short book burglar, I asked him one more time if he could remember anything that would help lead us to the culprit.

Of course, he said no.

Would this face lie?

17 comments:

Kimberly said...

I don't see how it possibly could. He's such a darling! And you are such a comic! I giggled like mad all through that!

Jessica said...

He is so cute...we really have to set up that date with him and my Sunshine! :)
And we have that same pop-up book, "Tails", and its short a few tails at our house, too.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Totally love that book Tails. I hope the book gnome roams elsewhere. Glad to hear Punkin has started to use his noggin to make your life more hellish!

Serina Hope said...

We have Tails too! He is adorable. And he looks completely innocent.

ohio blue eyes said...

could he be any cuter!? LOVE the pajamas too, he's got a fashion sense!

nell said...

He's so darn cute! I'll keep an eye out for that book defacing creep, he lurks around over here too. Maybe we can set a trap...

her indoors said...

love this post, he sure looks adorable, hope the book theif soesn't frighten him!

Catwoman said...

When our police officers are done arresting people for wearing pants that are too baggy, I'll make sure they head to Alabama and get on the book thief case.

The crime rate is just spiraling out of control, isn't it?

Yankee Belle said...

My kid is in the ripping books phase. ARGHHH

M said...

I'm sorry to tell you Liam might've taught him that particular move. Liam's the king of move to get shit he's not allowed to have.

I'll punish him appropriately (though seriously? That boychild of yours? I just want to steal him. He's too adorable.)

Rachel said...

Freakin hilarious!!! Great post! And, no way would that face lie.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

We have many of the same books and toys!

Cute post!

Mommapeas said...

We too have been hit by the book burglar. Ours also just likes to rip out the pop outs and leave the book. Then, Tooty brings them back and says "Mommy, fiss it?".

buddha_girl said...

That is the absolute most priceless montage of pictures I've seen in a LONG time! I love the green and purple hammer surrepticiously SHOVED into the books. Classic!

Get this: Buddha has the same Tails book. He succeeded in tearing out the pig and fox tails within a week of reading it. To this day, whenever we read it, he'll poke at the empty spaces and say, "UH OH!" Uh oh, my ass. He knows he did it!

Emma in Canada said...

That was too sweet. And since everyone else has already said what I would have said had I read blogs yesterday I'm just going to say that I love the colour of his wall! I'm currently obsesssed with paint chips.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oooo that book burglar comes to our house too.

And we have one that draws on Miss M's legs.

Tsk, he's so darn cheeky.

angel said...

butter wouldn't melt...