Life in the Fish Bowl


His What is Where?????

My son is still a toddler. He thinks he is 25, but he is just two. I talk to him like he is my age because most of the time it's just he and I - and I'm no fun to talk to because I always know what I'm going to say.

This morning we were getting ready to go to a playgroup. Not that we made it because some dumb ass I left my interior lights on Tuesday night and my battery was dead.

Anyway, we were getting ready for the playdate. I put Punkin' in the bathtub and I was getting ready to get in the shower. I am closing the shower door when I barely hear him saying something, so I walk back out of the shower.

"What's that?" he says, pointing to my crotch.

Ummmmm, uhhhhhh, thats my whoo ha.

"I've got a penis."

Yes, Punkin. Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

You know how you sometimes call your penis a wing ding? Well, Mommy calls her vagina a whoo ha, a vajayjay.

"Daddy has a penis on his butt".

I get back in the shower so that he can't see me giggling about the penis on Daddy's butt. (Now I've called DH a dickhead before, but never a penis butt.) But I'm thinking, is he too old for parental nudity? I thought we would have another year or two before we had to address this, but obviously not.

Maybe this will be the end of the questions for a while, and if so, great. It is such a convenience to be able to stick him in the bathtub while I get a shower or to get us both dressed at the same time. It is a lot harder for him to poop under my bed if I am in the room with him.

Are those days over? I mean I already have to lock horny hubby out, but my Punkin'?

Am I scarring him for life? Will he have major therapy bills later on due to seeing his mother naked when he was two years old? What did/do you guys do? Help?!?

And should I explain that to him that Daddy's penis isn't on his butt?


buddha_girl said...

Nah. Relax. Buddha showers with me or HG so we can kill two birds with one stone.

He calls his penis the P Man. He loves his P Man. He's seen and pointed out HG's P Man as well.

The other day in the shower he pointed at me and said, "Mommy's P Man!" I said, "Nah, it's Mommy's P Girl. Looks different but does basically the same thing."

That's all.

I can't wait to hear about the penis on the butt story when you tell Daddy-O about his new moniker!

M said...

As long as he's not uncomfortable there's NOTHING wrong with him realizing the differences in the nakedness! Now if HE gets uncomfortable that's when you put a nix on the naked in front of him but I think nakedness in front of kidfolk is FINE until they say otherwise!

Not everyone is as comfortable with nakedness though so you have to determine your own comfort too but in my world my kidfolk will (hopefully) realize that naked is no big deal if they see it wandering occasionally.

And dude. The simplicity of a quick bathe with kidfolk is a good thing! Giving that up before they can shower themselves? Sounds like horror.

(BTW: Penis butt? Just DIVINE!)

Catwoman said...

Little Man already laughs at my boobs and he's not even two. I'm thinking he might already be too old, because I don't have the self-esteem to put up with someone laughing at my naked body.

But I'd say unless Pumpkin's whistling at you or telling you to shake those assets when you're naked, you're probably fine.

Dani said...

Having grown up with a (WAY TOO) open family, I got used to seeing my parents naked well up into the ages of ... well now. They respected my privacy when I asked it of them but they always just taught me that the human body is beautiful and each one of them is different.
Of course now I'm the chick that has no shame or embarrassment about being naked. I'm hoping that we can teach our peanut that being naked is okay, we're all different and that when it makes him uncomfortable we'll stop.

Mommapeas said...

Penis Butt is my new favorite word. Sorry no help, I'm still trying to stop laughing.

Kimberly said...

Oh dear. Oh deary deary dear.

I think M has it right. It's all about personal comfort levels. Neil bathed with the girls when they were babies, used a washcloth over his lap when they got older, and when they tried to lift the washcloth? Bathtime with Daddy was over. =P

That Chick Over There said...

Peeeeeeeeenis butt!


Sadly, I am the worst possible person ever to ask this. Because I'm apparently a 14 year old boy pretending to be a grown woman.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I've wondered the exact same thing!

kitchensramblings said...

I have no problems with being naked in front of little bit but my hubby on the other hand. Children are curious creatures by nature and if they cant learn from you then where will they get their information. We are open people so we will be doing this for a while.
Next time I see your husband, guess what will be running through my head !!! S'up penis butt !!!

Rachel said...

I think he's still young enough not to have to worry about it. I think it just makes a difference (as far as questioning goes) when it's the opposite sex.

Punkin and his daddy have the same equipment so he's probably not gonna notice as much.

AuburnGalAlways said...

I vote for not correcting about the penis on the butt thing.

Emma in Canada said...

My daughter calls her dad's penis his poop. And it's "ewwww....disgusting."

And really? she's a smart chicky, they ain't that pretty.